They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
