Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Randomize
