She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
