You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
