If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize