you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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