please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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