I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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