Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
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