so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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