I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
