u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
