So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize