guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize