It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize