if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
