I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
