i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
