They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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