K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
operation harelip BJ is a go
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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