You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Operation Purity has been aborted
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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