That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
