I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
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