k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
