Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize