lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
