Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
