I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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