i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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