Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
