Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
