Dual....:-)
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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