i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
