a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
