I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
