I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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