I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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