I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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