you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
