cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
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