We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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