I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Rumble strips road head = magical
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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