Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize