My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize