he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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