Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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