Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
