I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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