it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
