This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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