btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
