Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
She announced her abortion via fbk
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
