why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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