This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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