all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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