Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize