since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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